To you three.

Friendship is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Not that I have someone who can help me. But because I have someone to share light with. Jokes are cracked. Secrets are spilled out. Well, I could not actually resist those pleas I used to hear whenever they beg me to tell them my secrets. I give in too easy.

I remember that very first moment when I got to talk to you two. I was overwhelmed. I could not believe I was approached by people I hardly give attention to. You were mysterious. And she was silent. So silent that she left me with no words to say. Until I got to know you better. I crack jokes to you. You laugh with me. You exchange jokes with me, too. Then we were comfortable with one another.

July 17. I was surprised when you talked to me. Your smile is the sweetest. Your voice is angelic. You are a sunflower. You asked me if you could come with us. Then I smiled and gave you "YES".

We were all together. Almost everyday. We do not text one another that much, but we talk to one another almost everyday. We shared secrets. We cried our hearts out. We laid our burden. We grew happiness.

HAPPINESS. The word I will never forget. I heard it from you. I felt it because of you.

We shared things in common. And even if we live far apart from one another, our hearts are forever banded. We promised to be together. Forever. I am looking forward to drinking with you in starbucks few years from now. Mira and B might not know, but I told Claud that very secret. And yes, I still hope it would happen. I'm loving you forever. I still love you this very moment. I loved you. And I know I will still love you tomorrow. And I do not want to fall out of love. Falling out of love is a choice so I won't take the love back. :)

I felt a sudden longing. I felt a sudden loneliness. I felt a sudden want to be with you again. I hope you are all well. I will have to see you very soon. I hope..

With love, Monique♥

Cherished.

I'm spending my vacation with my cousin Vince and litte brother Renz. And these photos are the cutest. I do not make faces but when I'm with them, eheeeemmm. Look what happens. :>

As requested by my ever-loving friend :>

Kaisa,

I actually miss you. One whole year made a huge change. You used to be my pal. I used to be your buddy. We are almost always together..

Like even when high school days were over, we are still together. Sweet. :>

This is the other one :>

Through haggard times..

I super love my photos with you ♥

I treasure them no matter how haggard I am the moment we captured it. I do not care even if the photos were stolen. As long as my sense could still remember how foolish my face had been whenever we laugh our hearts out when we're together.♥

I love you always. :">

The Yesterdays. :">

I remember the days when..

We took pictures of us happily sitting side by side together.

When we shared food with one another..

When I carried you in my arms and pretend you're superman..

When I did the same with my niece; pretending she's wonderwoman..

When we are not complete yet we want to show how bad we miss them.

When we saw them smile through pain..

When we gave our sweetest smiles, that we knew for a fact, will vanish with time..

When we wore ourselves out until we sleep together again..

Oh how I miss these days. Hope 'times' are always there.

And I thought everything was over..

I thought this is just a mere infatuation.

WROODLE.

Pierced.

This kindda hurts. It truly hurts..
I mustered enough caliber to talk to him. Well it turned out fine, of course I left my questions anonymous. But he insisted that I give him my name. It made me really nervous. Well, I'm confident that he would not figure my name out.

But I made a wrong move..

I really am not in the mood to talk about it. It was just sooo stupid of me to think that everything will turn out fine, only to find out that he and his friend had talked about me. First impression lasts. -- as the saying goes..

Okay. Just because my looks are not deceiving enough, I knew how the conversation flowed. I know that. I cannot deny that. I was not born to be a supermodel. It is indeed VERY DIFFICULT to please everybody. People could not appreciate me by just merely staring at me or at my photos. I have no wish of denying that.

That very moment while I was reading their conversation.. It was chaos. Chaos within me... That I was not good enough. That it was so stupid of me. That I hoped for something I know won't happen. It was like a HARD BITCH SLAP on both sides of my face. Of my soul..

Here I go again, overthinking of what happened. The deal I had with my friend whom I call "dear", had been blown away by the wind. It had been washed away from my plans. I no longer want to make friends with him. I no longer want to follow him whenever he walks in front of me. I no longer want to have a picture with him. Because I know he would not appreciate me. 

Because, I was not good enough..

Because, he already judged me.

And because he pierced me..

The Paradise.

Oh hi! 

My mind's been occupied by things that are undoubtedly bothersome. Well it's not really annoying. It's just sooo confusing. It keeps hunting me down. Maybe for some people, this is just a waste of time. But for me, it is something. 

Well it's about this guy/girl.. watchamacallit.

 First Sem. Yes, I could still remember how I saw him walk in front of me while we are in the 2nd floor of Arts Building. I was physically attracted to him that time. Whenever it's break time, I ask my friends to come with me so I can see him. Whenever I see him, I follow him. I'm like a fool. Yeeaa. I know. The most memorable day is the day when I followed him until the Boys Comfort Room. (Well, of course I did not go inside.) Everyday has the same routine.

Not until my friends told me they found out he's gay. I protested of course. I insisted. So my friends went like "okay, soothe yourself." Then he became a dead star. I may giggle whenever I see him ocassionally but things are no longer the same. After the semester, I told myself, maybe I won't be able to see him next semester. 

Second Semester. What the hell! I saw him again! He's the first student I saw way back then. Could this be destiny? LOL. Things are no longer the same. I see him walking along the hallway of the 2nd floor of Arts Bulidng during our Speech class. My friends used to tell me he's coming and I used to giggle and I follow him. Well, yea. I still do that. But those giggles are no longer the giggles I used to purge before. 

Okay. Here comes the last week of the 2nd semester. I don't know why but he's name popped into my mind while I am reviewing for our final exams. I have been planning to search him on facebook since first sem. Now it's about time. Then I reluctantly added him as a friend. I told myself, whatever happens, whether he confirm me or not, it will be fine with me. He does not know me so I let things be. 

The next day, the first notification I saw is "*insert name here* accepted your friend request. OMG. So happy. So I checked him out. Things turned out differently. It seems like I want to get to know him better. I found out lots of things about him. There are lots of negative things about him. But I don't give a damn. I want to get to know him better. Even if he's a bisexual. Even if he's unusual. Even if I have a boyfriend. :|

I'm so confused. I am always attracted to guys who turns out to be gays. I do not know why. But I'm growing fonder and fonder of him. Unlike before. And worse, I'm looking forward to meeting him next semester.

*sighs*